i want to be a misionary, mom!

So, today I have a very very good conversations with my mom! Yippy! Im so happy! Ha ha!
I’ve ever talked with my mom about His call for me to be a missionary. But, is not very good. My mom just said, yes. But yeah, just it.
And then I tried again. but at that time, my mom said-wake up Tirza. We don’t have the money! And, im drop. Really I just felt like, its impossible. Where I can get that money?
But, its so funny. 1 day after I talked with my mom, I go to financial seminar with Jess’s team =] I don’t know anything about that seminar. I think yeah for a businessman maybe? Ha ha! But im shocked when I know, its for missionary. I really don’t know about that ha ha! And yeah, the seminar really really encourage me. Nothing Impossible! Yeah!
I still don’t know where i can get that money, ha ha. But I know God will provide me, always. Just hear and obey, ha ha!
But im still afraid to talk with my mom again about it. Until tonight. When there’s no one in my home, only me and my mom. We’re dinner together. And then, God said to me-just said you don’t want go to university and you would go to DTS, YWAM! And yeah, I started it!
“Mom, I don’t want go to university, or anything else. I want to be missionary.” Believe or not, when I said that. I felt no worries. I felt joy! That’s crazy cause, me and my mother don’t have like a very deep relationship. yeah and I know that’s my fault.
“are you sure?” my mom just said that.
“yeah, sure! I know He call me mom.”
“but you know, to be a missionary its not easy! Daddy is pastor, and you know our income, right?” I know sometimes, my family have a hard time with our finance. Till now. And I must pray hard for that.
“yes mom I know. and missionary don’t have any income (I don’t know why I talked about it ha ha) but if be a missionary is my call from God, He will provide it. All my friends from missionary never be so hungry or poor. Till now they still alive. Cause God provide them all. And that’s same for me.” I think that’s the craziest things that I told to my mom, ha ha ha. Before it happened, I just think I don’t want tell my mom about missionary don’t have any income. Ha ha! But I know, when im talking with my mom. That’s not the words from my mind or what, that’s from God. Cause I felt no worries, I felt joyful! That’s amazing!
“but where you can get that money to go to Perth?” I didn’t said Perth before =]
“God will provide it! Just pray for me mom.”
“where would you go?”
“I still not sure about that. But I’ll keep pray for that. And for money, and for everything.”
“I have 1 friend from YWAM.” I never said about YWAM before too. But I think my mom read YWAM brochure. I’ve got that from GYO. But totally im shocked, my mom have a friend from YWAM? That’s crazy! I never know about that!
“who? Where’s she live now?”
“Holland, my friend church.” And yeah, we have a great conversation tonight. She talked about her friend. And her friend is my daddy’s best friend too! Ahaa! Ha ha ha! And she can believe me now, I’ve got the green light from my mom! Ha ha!
And its not the end of my ‘miracle’ today. Before I write this post, I just go out of my room. And I’ve tried to find my bag. I remember I just put it in front of my parent’s room. But, im shocked when I saw like some notes from my mom. Psalm 23:1 and 6b. I know its from my mom =]
So yeah guys. I never imagine, its so easy to get my mom permission. Ha ha! And its all because Him. I know if im not obey, yeah maybe I will lose my chance. Just say it in His time, not in your time. And He would give you joy when you tell that. God You’re amazing! so the next one is, my daddy! I just wait for the right time, for His time =]

Rizal part I

Rizal, he’s 16 years old now. 1st 1 meet him with Belinda, Joan, and Fenny at Rawa Sengon, I just see a sad face.
At that time, I never plan to meet the old lady that I meet last week with JT. She had a blur eyes. But when I saw her store. God spoke to me-just go there and pray for her eyes. She’s a tailor. Her job is the only income for her family cause she don’t know where’s her husband now. Her husband married someone after he run away. So, we prayed with Belinda’s strategy. 1st time, she felt her eyes better but just 50%. So we prayed for her again. and then Joan prayed and touched her eyes. After that, her eyes be healed! She said that after Joan lift her hands from her eyes, she saw the very bright light.
After that, we saw Rizal just sat in front of the store. 1st time I saw him, he drank some soft drink. And Belinda said-our next patient! So we talked to him, we wanted prayed for you! And then we just asked him, you want finish your drink 1st or you want to pray 1st? he answered-I want to finish my drink 1st. so we waited. And suddenly he just threw his drink and said-let’s pray! And at that time, I know he have a big faith. So we prayed for him. He have a broke bone. And his right leg shorter 2 inc than the left leg. 2 times we prayed, he just felt nothing. So we asked him, do you have any unfair feeling, or rejected, or bitter? He just said, no. and we asked him again, do you feel unfair about your conditions with God? And then he said-yes. So we prayed for his unfair feeling, and for reconciliation with his parents. so we prayed for him and he repeat us. But when we prayed-I forgive my mom and my dad. He just said-I forgive my mom. And at that time, I just felt something wrong with his relationship with his father. After that we prayed for his legs again. and it grow! And we prayed for his back bone. He said when we prayed for him, he felt electricity like some of his bone want to be straight and we saw he shaking when we prayed. and then I met his mother. And then I ask-do Rizal have some bitter from his father? She just said-no, I don’t know. but almost everyday, Rizal’s father say the bad things to Rizal. And-dang! I think that’s the point.
So we came back next week and we saw his face more happy than the 1st time we saw him. We gave him Joan’s shoe because last time we met him, he said he don’t have a shoe, he just have slipper. So we prayed for him again. and now his legs is same. No one shorter or longer =]
and then we saw his back bone. That’s our 1st time. He take off his clothes. And honestly, I wanted cried but I hide it. Its so break my heart-his photos and video coming soon on my facebook guys. His mom said to me, when he was a little child, around 8 months. He always fell down. Everything okay till he’s 8 years old, the bone cant grow. So his family know about the bone after he’s 8 years old. so we prayed for him and after that, he can do the things that he never can do it before. He move his body and he can run a little bit now. That’s awesome! But he still felt the pain when he move his body. So, we encouragement him to practice it everyday. And when he do it, just said-thanks Jesus for the complete healing! And I saw, his smile is bigger than before. He’s so joyful.
And then his neighbor invited us to come to her house. Rizal follow us. So we saw the neighbor leg is shorter 1 inc. she said she had accident. Motorbike accident, someone hit her. So we prayed for her. 2 times, nothing happened. And then we asked, do you have a bitter or you cant forgive the man who hit you? And she said, no. I forgive him, I never have a bitter with him. And then we asked again, do you have a bitter with you father or mother? And then, she just cried. And said, she hate her father so much. Cause he want to throw her. She never met her father since she was born. And when 1st time they met, her father search her. And he want to do a very very bad things-I think I cant tell you guys, its too personal. And till now, her husband don’t know about that. He search her twice, and want to do that twice. But it doesn’t happened. We asked her to forgive her dad. But she cant and she wont. Its too hard for her. She’s cried and still said-no, I wont forgive him. We still encourage her. She’s still cried and said no. but we know, at that time holy spirit works. And finally, she can forgive her father. And then we prayed for her, pray for forgiveness for her father. She repeat after us. When she’s prayed, she’s still crying. I know that’s hard. But she want to open her heart and forgive her father, its like she open the door for blessings and healing.
And then after we prayed for forgiveness, we want pray for her leg. But, when we saw her legs, its already same! Hallelujah! Im shocked and, im speechless! That’s awesome! AWESOME! We’re not doing a pray for her legs before. We just do a pray for forgiveness. And before we pray for her legs, its already same. Me and Girja just shout-Ah Lord, You’re AWESOME!
And when I see Rizal face, he is so happy. His smile more bigger than before. He join us to pray for his neighbor and, when I see he’s so happy. I just think, he must join us to do this ministry! I hope so he can join us. And he would see people be heal and he can be heal too! Next week, yeah next week!
And then yesterday, me and Belinda just talk about Rizal. And Belinda said, she dreamt about Rizal a days ago. And she said, he would be a missionary. Maybe he would go to Bali and do DTS! And I can see it, that’s what I think of too. I think about Rizal 1 day after we prayed for him. And I’ve got that things too, he would be so AMAZING and he would be a missionary! And Belinda makes me feel so excited for Rizal. I cant wait to see that things happen! He would be a AMAZING man in God. His testimony will be so amazing! and I hope so he would go to DTS. Its gonna be so AMAZING!

To be continue…

about Jess's team =]

I always ask Jesus, why my 1st team is Jess’s team? And then Jesus answer it 1 day. When we sang ‘Still’ at GIA church before we go outreach. He reminds me, when I was with the 1st wave, I just felt nothing. Cause I know, I still do that things. The bad things. I’m still a sinful person at that time. And I prayed, God please don’t let me did that ministry if I’m still broke Your heart. I want to know You first before I serve others. I want to feel Your love first before I share about You. And I know, I go outreach not because of You =] I’m sorry Lord!-I focus with ha ha! And I know, at that time I want to focus with my ministry in my church. So, I’m didn’t go outreach for 4 months.
But 1 day, I’ve heard about GYO from my Youth Leader and she wanted me to be GYO’s committee. I know about GYO. And that’s the right time, I’m still in holiday! At GYO, I know He call me to go, share about Him to the nations. And God not stop saying-OUTREACH OUTREACH OUTREACH! Go! Because you’re free now!-at that time, I never did that sin again. if you know my sin, you’ll shocked ha ha ha. And its all because His grace! He hold me so tight in His arm, never let me go again. I can feel it till now. He loves me so. And I love Him so much! and I feel His love more than before. I have a very intimate relationship with Him, all I wanna do just to spend all my time with Him, alone. Because I know He’s the only one living God, He’s my everything. And then He said, I will give you an extra ordinary moments in your life. You’re so young, I want to use you! And I just obey and I do it! I go outreach!
Actually, I’m a very very quite person-I need maybe 1 month to be a sanguine one =] and I’m phlegmatic! So, at that time I just invited my friends to go outreach with me for the 1st time with Jess’s team!-I need someone I know ha ha. I love them =] I love Jess’s team! =] and then 2nd time I go with my friends again. and I remember, that’s the 1st time God make me see how great He is! And then, God told me, you don’t need your friends again. you can go with or without them! I know, I go outreach not because of my friends or anything else. But I want to see His work in my life. And then, im struggle! Its not easy for me cause im a very quite person. I don’t like to talk too much. With bahasa. And now, I must speak in English! Jesus oh Jesus! Ha ha. Really, its not easy. That’s hard! Im struggle and i still go outreach! Because He wanted me to do it, I just do it =]
I know I don’t need anybody else, I just need Him. He always give a strength. But, now I know. all things that I learned, all things that makes me must struggle, it because He want me to do the ministry not because something else. He want me to do my ministry because I love Him and He want me to know Him more. And now, God is so real in my life now, yeah. I can see His works everyday =]
That just a bonus from God if I have a good relationship with you guys-Jess’s team. Thanks for everything guys, I’ve learned soooooo many things with you guys. You’re guys sooo AMAZING! I love you all. And like Pet said, 1st team is always special. Yeah, that’s true! you’re guys so special!
Actually, I did so many things that broke His heart too. Drinking, smoking, and yeah, a lot of sins. I have a very very bad past. That’s really hurts me for along time. I want to be free but I cant cause I just do it by myself. I didn’t ask Him to set me free.
But now im free, because of Jesus. That’s why I love Him so much. He’s a very great Father! He knows my everything. From zero to hero! If now Tirza give all her life for Jesus, its not because of she’s kind or blah blah blah. But its all His grace. And He called me in the right time and with the right person too =]
He call me when im so young =] have a deep relationship with Him, and see His works. I love it! Although at the beginning I don’t know why im so late to do this ministry (I mean, I can do this ministry earlier because I have a connection or I know the 1st wave schedule but He want me to go with the 3rd wave. And now I know that’s the best for me!) =] He want me to know what my purpose life 1st, and be free 1st before I do that ministry. And, yeah He’ll makes all things beautifull in His time. He always know what the best for me, and for you guys too. Just wait it, hear His voice. Hear and obey. And the greatest things is yet to come!
For Jess’s team, I love you all, I’m so happy I have you guys as my 1st team =] thanks for everything guys, I’ll pray for you guys!


Blessings!

Deuteronomy 30:16

Yeah! its amazing!

Deuteronomy 30:16-I command you today, to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commandments and His statutes and His ordinances, then you shall live and multiply, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land into which you go to possess.
Soo, before I read it. I just go to my church, my youth, like everyweeks. Then, when the pastor pray. He just said, someone will go to the nations and in the land into which you go to possess. I just cry , and cry. I cant hide it. I don’t know why. After he pray, my leader pray for me.
At the night, I cant sleep. And then I know, I have to make it sure. I take my bible. I turn off the lamp in my room cause my brother was sleep. i use my father’s phone to read it. My dad’s handphone like have a little lamp. When I open my bible, I got it. Deuteronomy 30:16. I cry at that night. The same words!
Its sooo amazing! till now I still cant believe that He will use me. Im a sinful person, but He want to use me! Its all His grace!
And yeah, I would go Lord, yeah! to keep my commandments and He’ll bless me to the land which I go to possess. I don’t know when and where. But 1 thing that I know, He call me and I would go to complete my life for Him.
Walk by faith, not by sight-

Blessings!


-t.za@windowslive.com