I trust You
:: I trust You ::
I’m in God’s processing now. about friendship. That’s really, HARD!
He just gave a ‘special class’ for this 2 last weeks. Makes me can’t sleep, I can sleep above 1 AM. Pray hard, and thinking too much-that’s my fault. I break my phone cause I’m so mad at that time, little ‘fighting’ with my best friend and my friends, can’t trust anyone, be a ‘baby sister’ for my best friend – that’s really sucks dude, and got so many hurts – you can see my blog with the post title: letter for Jesus, my best friend. But, I learn soooo many things.
Okay, I can’t tell you guys the problems, my privacy haha. If I’m telling you guys, maybe I need 100 pages, it’s a long long long story. But I can tell you what I’m learning about. I almost lost my best friend because I can’t trust her, and like what I said I’m being her ‘baby sister’, have a worries about her and want to control her 24 hours! I almost lost her cause I’m not mature enough, I get mad and I didn’t spoke to her – 1 day.
But, I just remember 1 thing. About my past with 1 of my closest friend at that time. I just control her like crazy, I said no for everything that she did, I mad and have a fighting like emmmm lost contact around 6 months I think?!, I won’t to say sorry and she’s the first who text me sorry after that 6 months-I’m proud of her now cause it’s hard I just knew it hahaha. And now, I think I lost 1 of my best friend because of that, the fighting. I’m too selfish, I want her to not going to the wrong way. It’s like I’m telling her to not doing that things but she doesn’t want to hear me, and we were fighting, not like punching each other but like didn’t want to talk each other so silly haha. Okay at that time I just born again. and I want her to feel it too-you know lahh =] and now, I’m still have a good relationship with her. But I don’t know how is she now. I mean, not like when I’m being her best friend. We almost hanging out together everyday, and being so closed. And, I just regret it all. I mean not regret, that’s a lesson for me too. But its like, feeling sad cause she’s so far with me now. Not really but I miss the time when we’re laughing together and did a crazy thing. Just spend time together and for me now that’s cool, I miss that moment. Really, sorry…
That’s my experience. And now, like God give me the same test. Like what I said, that’s really same. Not really but, kind a…
1 of my best friend just said : what the heck? This story it’s like the same story with your past with 1 of your best friend.
Like what is said - I get mad and I didn’t spoke to her – 1 day. at that time, I cried I did haha so silly. In the karaoke place, that’s really sucks man, really. Maybe I have to cry at that time. I left the room and I’m going to the sitting room. And I cried. I just need time I know, I chat with God about my feeling and bla bla bla. But I ran to the toilet and I cried. I just want to push it out. And God told me : forgive her. I said : yes yes God I forgive her. But it’s like not easy for me. We left the karaoke place, we’re going to the mal and I really like wont to care about her anymore, I left her behind me. But when she left. I felt something wrong. And I felt, I doesn’t want to do it twice-not saying sorry. I doesn’t want to lose her. Lose 1 more best friend? No enough, enough with the past. I text her saying sorry and yeah, that’s okay.
1st lesson : say sorry
2nd lesson : be patient
3rd lesson : don’t fall in the same point
And it’s not the end dude, we still a terrible problems, until now.
And she’s lying to me and some people. I’m not shocked at that time, I can’t speak anything just look at her and, I forgive her again. Honestly, I don’t know why she’s doing that, we’re best friend. You can tell me anything, don’t lying. Honestly, it hurt me so bad. And I cant trust her that’s why, I tried to control her 24 hours. But I’m not feeling okay with that, I didn’t felt comfort with all of that sucks feeling. Worried, mad, can’t trust her, hurting so bad, and so many. And yes, I tried to control her 24 hours but, we just fighting and I’m still saying sorry. We’re okay now. I forgive her and I can trust her now.
We still a human dude, even we love someone soooo bad, we can’t control her. I know, we have a good reason for that. But we cant, just God can do that, can control their life cause God is the owner of all the creation. We can’t changes someone life. Just God can changes someone life. God touch their hearts and sooner or later, they will say : yes. He makes all things beautiful in His time, man!
4th lesson : forgiveness
5th lesson : we can’t control someone 24 hours, just God can do that
6th lesson : just God can changes someone life
7th lesson : everything beautiful in His time
this 2 last weeks I felt so many hurts, tears, tired, mad, I struggle its not easy. I always heard this 2 songs : not alone – secondhand sight (YWAM Perth, School of Music in Mission, Second Level), selalu bersamaku – Giving My Best a. k. a GMB (always with me from GMB. Oh man this song is soooo deep, if you know the meaning haaaa!). and I always crying when I heard that 2 songs. I know she’s lying, I don’t know what she’s think about me – Am I her best friend or not? No one heard me.
But I know, I’m not alone. Even they all leaving me, but He’s not. He’s my amazing friend. My closest friend, no one like Him. And I know, this is for my better life. For me to be a better person. For being a good one, have His character. To do what Jesus do – WWJD what would Jesus do, now I always asking God what would You do if You’re in my position now, and that’s really cool! He push me to makes me be a better one. I’m desperate but I’m really fine now. To be more like Him, yes!
8th lesson : I’m not alone, He always with me
9th lesson : He’s my closest friend, no one like Him
10th lesson : WWJD
11th lesson : push me and its hurt but to be more like Him
Isaiah 28:16b – the one who trusts will never be dismayed.
1st time I got this message, I can’t say anything. And I know, that’s my fault if I’m not trust in Him and her. I trust in Him and her now.
12th lesson : trust in Him and her
Proverbs 17:17 – a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
That’s for her, really. When I fall, I always get up and stand up again. I want her to be like that too. I will give my hand and hold her hand to help her, always besides her in happy conditions or not. Don’t leave her.
13th lesson : help her and don’t leave her alone
14th lesson : finally I know what a friend are for
Psalms 126:5-6 –
5. Those who in tears will reap with songs of joy.
6. He who goes out weeping carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.
That’s right! Tears oh its like everyday with tears. But I know, sooner or later, I’m still the winner. I’m the winner for this problems. I want to bring her to be closer with God, and I know she’d be like that 1 day. the tears its not useless man, the pray.
15th lesson : don’t give up cause we’re the winner
16th lesson : faith dude, faith!
And I remember this.
17th lesson : focus on God, not on your problems
18th lesson : do what you can do, and just give it all the things that you can’t do
19th lesson : don’t take God’s part – to control her
20th lesson : if you have a child. She want to ride a bicycle. For the 1st time, maybe she would fall. But you will help her. Just always be with her and take care of her. We can’t drive it for her, but we just can help her.
So yeah, I’m become closer with God, how precious the friendship now for me but not more than God haha, and I know how to overcome it all now. I have no worries now and I enjoy my life now even still, the problems coming from this case. But I doesn’t want to focus on that problems, and I trust Him, just it. Everything is in God control, not us! It doesn’t mean I don’t care or what, but its time for me to not saying anything. Tired to speak and no one hear me, cause I know no one can changes someone. I’m in God processing now. He gives me strength, always.
And I trust in You, Lord. Just surrender all, my relationship with my friends, my bad and hurt feeling, just control her cause I know I can’t and she’s Yours! You’re our father and I know You know how to take care of us. You love her more than my love to her. You can control her 24 hours but I’m not. I just can fasting and praying for her, support her. And I pray that, someday she would be greater than me. You will use her in Your amazing way! You know my past and You just turn it upside down! And I know You will doing that thing in her life, she would know that Your grace is more than enough for her, no one can satisfied her with love except You! Thanks God, You’re awesome!
I trust You, I love You more
I’m in God’s processing now. about friendship. That’s really, HARD!
He just gave a ‘special class’ for this 2 last weeks. Makes me can’t sleep, I can sleep above 1 AM. Pray hard, and thinking too much-that’s my fault. I break my phone cause I’m so mad at that time, little ‘fighting’ with my best friend and my friends, can’t trust anyone, be a ‘baby sister’ for my best friend – that’s really sucks dude, and got so many hurts – you can see my blog with the post title: letter for Jesus, my best friend. But, I learn soooo many things.
Okay, I can’t tell you guys the problems, my privacy haha. If I’m telling you guys, maybe I need 100 pages, it’s a long long long story. But I can tell you what I’m learning about. I almost lost my best friend because I can’t trust her, and like what I said I’m being her ‘baby sister’, have a worries about her and want to control her 24 hours! I almost lost her cause I’m not mature enough, I get mad and I didn’t spoke to her – 1 day.
But, I just remember 1 thing. About my past with 1 of my closest friend at that time. I just control her like crazy, I said no for everything that she did, I mad and have a fighting like emmmm lost contact around 6 months I think?!, I won’t to say sorry and she’s the first who text me sorry after that 6 months-I’m proud of her now cause it’s hard I just knew it hahaha. And now, I think I lost 1 of my best friend because of that, the fighting. I’m too selfish, I want her to not going to the wrong way. It’s like I’m telling her to not doing that things but she doesn’t want to hear me, and we were fighting, not like punching each other but like didn’t want to talk each other so silly haha. Okay at that time I just born again. and I want her to feel it too-you know lahh =] and now, I’m still have a good relationship with her. But I don’t know how is she now. I mean, not like when I’m being her best friend. We almost hanging out together everyday, and being so closed. And, I just regret it all. I mean not regret, that’s a lesson for me too. But its like, feeling sad cause she’s so far with me now. Not really but I miss the time when we’re laughing together and did a crazy thing. Just spend time together and for me now that’s cool, I miss that moment. Really, sorry…
That’s my experience. And now, like God give me the same test. Like what I said, that’s really same. Not really but, kind a…
1 of my best friend just said : what the heck? This story it’s like the same story with your past with 1 of your best friend.
Like what is said - I get mad and I didn’t spoke to her – 1 day. at that time, I cried I did haha so silly. In the karaoke place, that’s really sucks man, really. Maybe I have to cry at that time. I left the room and I’m going to the sitting room. And I cried. I just need time I know, I chat with God about my feeling and bla bla bla. But I ran to the toilet and I cried. I just want to push it out. And God told me : forgive her. I said : yes yes God I forgive her. But it’s like not easy for me. We left the karaoke place, we’re going to the mal and I really like wont to care about her anymore, I left her behind me. But when she left. I felt something wrong. And I felt, I doesn’t want to do it twice-not saying sorry. I doesn’t want to lose her. Lose 1 more best friend? No enough, enough with the past. I text her saying sorry and yeah, that’s okay.
1st lesson : say sorry
2nd lesson : be patient
3rd lesson : don’t fall in the same point
And it’s not the end dude, we still a terrible problems, until now.
And she’s lying to me and some people. I’m not shocked at that time, I can’t speak anything just look at her and, I forgive her again. Honestly, I don’t know why she’s doing that, we’re best friend. You can tell me anything, don’t lying. Honestly, it hurt me so bad. And I cant trust her that’s why, I tried to control her 24 hours. But I’m not feeling okay with that, I didn’t felt comfort with all of that sucks feeling. Worried, mad, can’t trust her, hurting so bad, and so many. And yes, I tried to control her 24 hours but, we just fighting and I’m still saying sorry. We’re okay now. I forgive her and I can trust her now.
We still a human dude, even we love someone soooo bad, we can’t control her. I know, we have a good reason for that. But we cant, just God can do that, can control their life cause God is the owner of all the creation. We can’t changes someone life. Just God can changes someone life. God touch their hearts and sooner or later, they will say : yes. He makes all things beautiful in His time, man!
4th lesson : forgiveness
5th lesson : we can’t control someone 24 hours, just God can do that
6th lesson : just God can changes someone life
7th lesson : everything beautiful in His time
this 2 last weeks I felt so many hurts, tears, tired, mad, I struggle its not easy. I always heard this 2 songs : not alone – secondhand sight (YWAM Perth, School of Music in Mission, Second Level), selalu bersamaku – Giving My Best a. k. a GMB (always with me from GMB. Oh man this song is soooo deep, if you know the meaning haaaa!). and I always crying when I heard that 2 songs. I know she’s lying, I don’t know what she’s think about me – Am I her best friend or not? No one heard me.
But I know, I’m not alone. Even they all leaving me, but He’s not. He’s my amazing friend. My closest friend, no one like Him. And I know, this is for my better life. For me to be a better person. For being a good one, have His character. To do what Jesus do – WWJD what would Jesus do, now I always asking God what would You do if You’re in my position now, and that’s really cool! He push me to makes me be a better one. I’m desperate but I’m really fine now. To be more like Him, yes!
8th lesson : I’m not alone, He always with me
9th lesson : He’s my closest friend, no one like Him
10th lesson : WWJD
11th lesson : push me and its hurt but to be more like Him
Isaiah 28:16b – the one who trusts will never be dismayed.
1st time I got this message, I can’t say anything. And I know, that’s my fault if I’m not trust in Him and her. I trust in Him and her now.
12th lesson : trust in Him and her
Proverbs 17:17 – a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
That’s for her, really. When I fall, I always get up and stand up again. I want her to be like that too. I will give my hand and hold her hand to help her, always besides her in happy conditions or not. Don’t leave her.
13th lesson : help her and don’t leave her alone
14th lesson : finally I know what a friend are for
Psalms 126:5-6 –
5. Those who in tears will reap with songs of joy.
6. He who goes out weeping carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.
That’s right! Tears oh its like everyday with tears. But I know, sooner or later, I’m still the winner. I’m the winner for this problems. I want to bring her to be closer with God, and I know she’d be like that 1 day. the tears its not useless man, the pray.
15th lesson : don’t give up cause we’re the winner
16th lesson : faith dude, faith!
And I remember this.
17th lesson : focus on God, not on your problems
18th lesson : do what you can do, and just give it all the things that you can’t do
19th lesson : don’t take God’s part – to control her
20th lesson : if you have a child. She want to ride a bicycle. For the 1st time, maybe she would fall. But you will help her. Just always be with her and take care of her. We can’t drive it for her, but we just can help her.
So yeah, I’m become closer with God, how precious the friendship now for me but not more than God haha, and I know how to overcome it all now. I have no worries now and I enjoy my life now even still, the problems coming from this case. But I doesn’t want to focus on that problems, and I trust Him, just it. Everything is in God control, not us! It doesn’t mean I don’t care or what, but its time for me to not saying anything. Tired to speak and no one hear me, cause I know no one can changes someone. I’m in God processing now. He gives me strength, always.
And I trust in You, Lord. Just surrender all, my relationship with my friends, my bad and hurt feeling, just control her cause I know I can’t and she’s Yours! You’re our father and I know You know how to take care of us. You love her more than my love to her. You can control her 24 hours but I’m not. I just can fasting and praying for her, support her. And I pray that, someday she would be greater than me. You will use her in Your amazing way! You know my past and You just turn it upside down! And I know You will doing that thing in her life, she would know that Your grace is more than enough for her, no one can satisfied her with love except You! Thanks God, You’re awesome!
I trust You, I love You more
posted by Tirza Hartono | 10:49 PM
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