run, and finish it

Be serious!

I want to share something. Hmmmm, lately I’ve been so far from Jesus. And some questions surround in my head: will I go to heaven or, hell? I know I’m drop. I didn’t spent much time with God lately, like before. Maybe, because of problems, and time, and situations. But now I know it’s about my heart. I can say that it’s not more, but less. And I don’t know why, but I’m not in the right track, I mean my relationship with Him. And I’ve a bad bad bad feeling, about heaven and hell (tolak dalam nama Yesus!).

It’s all my fault, 1 day God want to came to me. But I said: God, Saturday ya? – on that Saturday we have GROW, kind of like the call?

And that Saturday finally come. I’m so excited because I will see God, hearing His voice again, and feel His presence! From the first time when I’m there, I really feel God’s here! I keep praise and worship Him. Until 1 preacher, he’s bule. I don’t know why, since he spoke, my heart melted. And I can’t stop crying. God spoke to me, a lot

I didn’t listen what he said completely. Cause He’s not stop talk to me. The preacher talking about angels and all of them worshiping God, if I’m not wrong – I don’t know I can’t hear his voice clearly. And God spoke to me: are you sure you’re going to heaven? To meet Me, you said wait. You’re too busy with your problems, and your heart. Even to talking with Me, you won’t. You choose your friends. Tell Me, how many miracles that you need for you come back to Me? Isn’t it all amazed you? Isn’t it? Are you still loves Me more than anything? Are you still knows that My Grace is enough for you?

And I know I hurt Him so. And I heard, He’s crying.

And I said: I won’t go to hell. I can’t worship and praise God there. I can’t feel His presence, the only one presence that can make me cry, can make me fall on my knees, the one who can give me comfort and joy. That’s my life, worshiping God.

At that time, I opened my eyes. And I said: save this generations, they loves You so much. But then God said: are they? I don’t think so.

God breaks my heart, not just for the people that I love. But for the people who loves God. Seeing so many people worshiping Him, that their life and my life. And I can’t imagine if that people who loves to worshiping God, going to hell (tolak dalam nama Yesus!!!!) and finding no worshiping God anymore. No life there.

So many miracles happened lately in my days. But still my heart can’t seek God. I felt, empty. Nothing. I know, because I’m not trying to search Him, MORE

But I realize on that day, God want YOU more! God want ME more! Not just like this. But more more and more! Not stock and stop right there! It almost done, guys. Don’t be tired. If you tired, and feel empty, come to God! – Psalm 23. Search Him until you find Him. Run, and finish it!

So many people running faster than me, I know. Faster than you. They search God like hungry everyday. Will you stop right there? And just being an ordinary one? Or the special one? That when so many people worshiping Him, His eyes still on you because He can’t see the other heart that loves Him, hungry of Him. Because of you are the special one that have love God more than life, more than anything in your heart.

Guys, just simple question: do you love Him more than yesterday? Do you love Him more than your 1st love with Him? Are you still have that passion?

Let’s run together

Psalm 23:5b – and I will live in the house of the Lord forever