He never be ashamed of you!

Hmm, who’s never make a big sins?

I have a big sins since I was 8 years old. And always keep it inside. I think, its all because Jesus want me to feel it! [that’s wrong wrong very wrong!] I regrets all. When I born again, I shamed about this thing. No one know it. Even my leader friends =] – Sharon, and my best friend, bena. It just, too ashamed for me. I think, I must keep it inside! Let it be my big secret that no one know it! But, 1 day I call Sharon [call her sye]. And then, vian join our call. He share about-why everyone like to keep their sins inside? If their share to others about their sins, maybe it would changes others life too. Their will try to confess their sins too. And it will be a dream team! Opens with others.

I think, yeah, that’s true. I write a message to sye, I want share my big sins with her. But, I need 3 weeks to prepare my self. Its not easy.

Finally, I share it [yeah, I cry when I tell her my big secret]. Not easy, yeah! After I tell her, I need time to take a breathe and control my emotion. Can you imagine? You keep it alone almost 10 years! Even im just share with her, just only one person, but yeah, its not easy coz its not a ordinary sins [haha! No no, I means, its not a, emmmm, yeah. it’s my big secret] before it, I think it just my past! But, when I share with her, I really really know-it my past! She can remind me, if I fall again [I hope not!]. thanks God for sye. She’s my great leader.

I share, I born again in her disciple class [haha!]. I share that, He is a very good Father! Never leave me alone when I fall again, still love me. At one time, I pray to Him, I never wants to hurts Him again! I know, all I do and thinks about this sins its wrong wrong wrong!

I pray-God, please take it all! All I feel, all I thinks! I’ve ever tired to free my self from this sins, alone. And I know, I can’t! So Lord, please free my self from this sins, help me! If it can hurts me soooo, I don’t care! I want free my self from this sins. With Your hurtest way, im ok. Take control all my feelings Lord, just take control! I don’t want to hurts You again, Amen.

Then, God free my self from this sins, in the softly way. I cant say anything. He is more than just amazing! He take over my feels, and He give no hurts to me even I always hurts Him!

After I share it, she send me a message-I never be ashamed of you, like God never be ashamed of you! You’re His lovely daughter. You’re precious, what happened!-
I cry again. honestly, I always blamed my self. Its not normal! But I realize, I means everything to Him, like Him means everything to me =]

So guys, I want to share it all! Everything! My big sins I can tell it! But, I cant tell it in public. So, if you want to share, contact me. Be blessed!

t.za@windowslive.com